Training

For the past three months, I have been working at the Staunton Social Security office, learning the job while exercising much of the information I assimilated while in Tampa. I knew I would eventually be shipped off to another office for my formal Service Representative training, though I never expected it to be very far.

Finally, the day came when I found out where I was going. It was not there in Staunton, nor 30 min north to Harrisonburg, East to the Charlottesville office, or an hour and a half south to Roanoke where the other SRs went for training. I was being sent to Danville, Va., A town 2.5 hours Southeast of Staunton, close to the North Carolina border. It's not a big town, so there's very little for entertainment. When April mentioned my destination to her co-workers at James Madison University, Danville was described as "the armpit of Virginia." The best part: I am training until the start of March 2010 (though I will come home for Thanksgiving, three weeks at Christmas, and one week at the start of February). Just wait, there's more. I have to unhook my desktop computer from my desk in Staunton, and take it with me because this office "doesn't have enough computers to go around".

When I get into town, I have to go straight to the office because there was not enough time to first head to the hotel and check in. When I set up the computer, we had some issues moving my user profile over to the this office and it turned out they have to re-image (or reformat) the hard drive on my machine so that their office server can recognize it. In the meantime, they switch out my tower for an extra one they had there at the office. Let me repeat that. They had to switch out the computer I had to lug from home because they didn't have enough computers, and replaced it...with an extra one. Well, I already brought the thing, so I might as well roll with it, right? I went around the office and met many of my future co-workers for the next three months, and proceeded through my work day. "This won't be so bad," I thought, "especially once I get back to the hotel, and I can check my email and put my feet up."

When I get to the hotel, I check in, head to my room, and continue to unpack. Once I got my computer hooked up, I quickly realized I didn't have any internet access despite the free internet advertised by the hotel. I opened the diagnostic applications for the networking and quickly noticed that I had access to the router, but it was not letting me through to the internet. After calling the front desk, they prompted me to go to the hotel website and a gateway page should pop up on the screen prompting me to put in a user name and password. So, I put in the website--and no gateway screen. Now what? I looked at the directions to access the internet found in the "welcome packet" on the room desk and notice that directions for setting up internet stop at Windows XP. Despite this, I still managed to follow them, despite some of the organizational differences between my VISTA OS and it's predecessor. Still nothing. At the top of the sheet, I notice there's a toll-free number to call for 24/7 assistance. Summoning the patience required to deal with Indian accents and scripted answers, I pick up the phone and dial. I quickly discover that this "help" number is "disconnected or no longer in service". Check-mate. Figuring I won't have internet that night, I head to bed, turn on the tube, and just make the best of it.

The next morning I was ready to get into a battle with the front desk people about my internet service, and ready to take my three-months of patronage elsewhere. After my free breakfast of cereal, coffee, and a bagel, I head to the front desk. After explaining to them what happened they asked if I had any firewalls up, but I explained that I had disabled them all with no resolve to the problem. Then, after asking if the CAT-5 jack in the wall of my room worked, they said, "yes it does. Do you need a cord?" And with that, presto! I've got internet!!

Elated that things were looking up, I headed to work. My computer (their tower, not mine) was up and running, I got to know more of the coworkers on a personal level, and I was even invited to one's wedding reception this Friday night (tomorrow).

After the invitation, it was back to my training class. As I sat there, listening to a satellite feed of talking heads, I got to thinking: perhaps this training is more than just job-specific SSA business. Perhaps this training is really a training on a greater scale of life. Yes, my situation isn't desirable: I'm being trained on a job I already know, I got sent to the "armpit of Virginia" to do it, and I'm far enough away from my family that I can't drive home during the week. But, I have learned repeatedly that we just have to roll with what we are given. It could be worse--I could have been sent across the country for training, or my hotel stay might not have been so accommodating in the midst of disappointment.

These and other life problems are only temporary, especially if we look to make the best of what we're given.

Election Day: A Thought Experiment of Marital Proportions

On this election day, I find myself reading the headlines and finding myself taken aback by all the politicians admitting infidelities to their public and their families in just this past year. This got me thinking: what if we had to re-elect our spouse?

Think about it. What if our culture built monogamy upon a one-year term for the office of spouse? Would we be as likely to cheat knowing that our spouse could easily, and without judgment from the outside world, toss us to the curb? Wouldn't we be more likely to pay greater attention to our spouses, treating them as we did when we dated, if they could simply move on to the next candidate? If every year we had to demonstrate to our spouse that we were worthwhile to keep in office for another year?

Now, I understand that in today's statistics of divorce, this concept is growing increasingly less novel. However, it's simply a suggestion for the married ranks to simply consider the question: Do I take my spouse for granted?

So, as an exercise, ask your spouse if they would re-elect you; just don't be surprised to get a politician's answer.

"Edugate"

Many who know me and my political ideology know that I prefer to have an individual opinion void of a complete partisan platform. That said, I find that the most current partisan games have passed the line of embarrassment and I feel the need to comment.

In recent months, we have seen many headlines informing us of the increasing polarizing debates revolving around President Obama's actions and politics. The most recent reaction on the political right to Obama's speech encouraging our nation's youth to stay in school, however, is downright laughable.

While, I am not one to name one party more correct than another due to the complication of our nations many worthwhile issues, I feel this most recent speech uproar to be a front to our nation's intellect and common sense. Critics of the speech have stated that the president is attempting to "indoctrinate" our nation's youth. Or better yet, they state he is attempting to "hijack" the parental role. It seems that while the democrats are attempting to achieve the impractical, republicans are busy serving up a punch of fear on the "NObama" bandwagon. Snap out of it, America!

First off parents, your kids are in school because YOU put them there. They learn and do their homework at home because YOU enforce it. If they're still in school, it's because YOU-the parent-did the indoctrinating long before the president said a word. The only children who are going to feel the encouragement of staying in school from this speech are going to be the ones who don't get it at home. As for the rest, the president is simply reinforcing a message they get at home anyway.

Second, regardless of the source, is it really that bad to encourage a child to stay in school? I can imagine people being up in arms about the president coming on the air and giving a speech stating that BJ's don't count as adultery, or condoning polygamy, but staying in school? Honestly, if people are so hell-bent to hate the president and his politics, there has to be something better out there than getting our knickers in a bunch over his attempt to lower America's drop-out rate.

In reaction to the airing of the speech, many in-laws were ready to pull their children out of school for the day. So let me get this straight: our parents, so fearful of the evil message of "stay in school", have PULLED their kids out of school for the day, essentially undermining the original message to begin with-regardless of its source. I guess I shouldn't be surprised this reaction is coming from a party which advocates the spread of peace through massive preemptive bombing.

America, we need to get back on track talking about the issues which will have a lasting effect on our youth, rather than those built upon a foundation of fear. We need to have more thoughtful discussions about what to do about our failing systems of health care and border patrol, in addition to education. Let's not waste our breath on such frivolous matters as this. Honestly, it's embarrassing.

Bigger isn't Always Better, It's Just More to Clean

When we're young, especially when growing up in America in the 1980's, it was easy to get swept away with the idea of buying bigger, better, and faster. If you were not living large, fast, and loose, then you weren't truly living.

This ideology found its way into many of my fantasies and games as a child. One in particular involved an issue of "Architectural Digest" wherein my brother, Nathan, and I would turn magazine pages which portrayed lavish homes with the latest styles and compete to see who could point and lay claim to the luxurious homes first. This usually took place at bedtime, and while I wasn't always the most gracious loser as a child (especially when tired), my mom said something to ease my pain one evening when I lost out on a priceless waterfront mansion in the East Hamptons. She said, "bigger isn't always better, Nick. It's just more to clean." At that, I felt like I was the winner, suddenly proud of claiming only one home in the Rancho Santa Fe mountains with half the square footage to clean.

This lesson of responsibility and care-taking certainly brings new meaning to my life as I grow older. As I look towards buying a home and starting a family in the next few years, it is suddenly becoming more apparent to me that the larger life becomes, the more my wife and I have to "keep clean". Now, not to say that any of these things is a burden. I enjoy the responsibilities that marriage brings and I love having a larger home. But, this is only to say that lifestyle perks come with responsibilities.

That night, mom cleverly used an opportunity to teach me an important life lesson as a means of cheering me up. It's easy to envy, its easy to want luxuries, but those luxuries come at a price. And, while those who think they've "won" this arbitrary race of life by having bigger and better, I can have the last laugh by tending to my life rather than my trophies.

Thank You, Florida

Tomorrow begins the last day of our packing to leave Florida, close a chapter, and move on to a new adventure. Saturday we leave Tampa, Sunday we leave Florida, and as I reflect on these days, I ponder their significance and meaning; I came to Florida broke, unemployed, and bright-eyed about the dreams and possibilities that move could implicate. Meanwhile, my wife was in love enough to see me through those hard times.

So much has happened since that faithful decision to give love, and God, a chance. I have gained an amazing life partner who challenges me, loves me, and cares for me. I have learned what I'm made of as a man, and I have been surprised time and time again by my bride and her resounding brilliance, principles, and beauty.

While Florida is susceptible to floods, tornadoes, wild fires, hurricanes, and yes, the occasional earthquake, I have found that this state produces tough people. And though I have only witnessed a few of these natural disasters, I have weathered much more personally with the death of a loved one, completing a master's degree, and all while holding down a full-time job. This time here has taught me that though I can push my way through the winters of life, it is much easier when I have the warmth of April to support me through the seasons.

I approached Florida with the expectation that this state was the part of my decision which would require the most tolerance. Though I will not miss the humidity and the warm, unchanging seasons, I will be forever grateful for the lessons I've learned, the people I have met, and the person I have become.

Thank You, Florida. We'll see you soon.

A Response to Obama Bashing...

The following is a written response to an op-ed piece my brother posted on his blog. It's amazing to me that people have targeted Obama before he's had time to do anything. I look forward to any comments readers may have.

~~~

...As for this highly slanted opinion piece, it's amazing for an opinion piece that stresses "facts" so much, it fails to acknowledge the facts which run contradictory to their point of view. Let's analyze these in turn:

1) The Honeymoon - Obama had an 83 percent rating when taking office and though that slipped in a week by 15 points or so, it has held steady, and even increased in the late days of February to 68 percent, according to a Gallup Poll. This is stated by many news agencies as still an impressive rating.

2) The Stimulus Bill - The structure of this bill should be of no surprise to any one who knows history. The greatest expansion of government happened with FDR; and I don't see any historians laughing about his agenda, especially those who got their asses saved by FDIC. Sure, there maybe some questionable items in this bill, however there are some badly needed infrastructure components to it as well. One I believe to be noteworthy is the development of high-speed rail. The United States, and our dependence upon oil and our cars, is FAR behind any other developed country in this regard. The development and building of these trains and routs will be expensive, yes; but it will also provide jobs and potentially relieve the airline industry of overcrowding--something I don't see the Republicans arguing against.

3) The Republican Solution - Reganomics. Give to the rich so they can technically invest it and vuala! Well, money isn't the only thing that flows downhill. Let's be clear that it's DEreculation and a pro-wealthy tax code that got us here to begin with. On Bush's last speech/meeting with the press, he stated that when he started his administration, he started with a recession and he's leaving with one. News Flash: that's what happened with Reagan too. It's true that cutting taxes for the rich to reinvest does allow for a trickle down effect, but that's short term thinking and not pragmatic. What forces those who have money to invest is greed, and it's that same greed that led to this mortgage and lending crisis to begin with: by bankers and speculators thinking, "how can I get a quick buck?" and vuala, we're fooked.

4) The Problem and Misdiagnosis - The fact that the stock market tanked is a symptom of the problem which exacerbated our economic issues. The problem is liquidity of funds through lending. NO one is lending any money. The Bush Administration gave banks a 700 Billion dollar bailout WITHOUT a provision to lend that money to anyone, allowing them to give CEOs lavish bonuses (and I'm not entirely convinced that was an accident). Sure, we need people to get to investing again, yes. But that's only going to happen when we get banks and private lenders to start granting loans again, so people can afford their current livelihood. We need to get money into people's hands with a manageable payment schedule so we can get industry back onto its feet. This way, those investors who sold their stock and stashed it in Gold (notice that the price of Gold went through the roof when the stock market crashed? Gold is a proven safe haven for investor's funds.), can reinvest it into industry. Again, that might happen faster with Reganomics, but as I've proven earlier, haste makes waste.

Thanks for sharing this post, Na. I wish this author would consider ALL the facts and simply agree to disagree, rather than arrogantly point fingers.

Valentine's Day Busted?

For the past two years, April's and my Valentine's Day has had some impediment from enjoying the Hallmark ideal of what the day is advertised to be about. We all know of the expectations revolving around the consumerism of Valentines day: chocolates, jewelry, lingerie. Yet, between illness (2007) and the death of a beloved family member (2008), our past two Valentine's holidays were less than perfect. We vowed to make this year different.

April awoke at 7:30 to Breakfast in bed before she headed off to the gym for her Saturday morning gym class. Afterwords, while she was showering and getting ready for our Valentine's day lunch date, I washed and waxed my car (I had to clean it up to keep up to par with April's new car!). Our lunch date consisted of a High Tea luncheon which incorporated a 4-course meal served on floral fine-china and a choice of any of the tea room's 52 teas. After returning home, April and I waited for her Dad to show up at the apartment to go to a casual dinner at a sports bar around the corner. Once finished, we came out to discover a disheartening surprise.

April's car wasn't there. We had this car but one week and our first notion was that it was stolen. After closer inspection of the space which once housed the vehicle and some nearby signage, we discovered that her car had been towed. Once in her Dad's car in a search to get the car back from impounding, our directions to the impound yard brought us to the badlands of Tampa. After waiting for an hour or so for the one office attendant, also a tow-truck driver, to return to process payment, we discover that they only accept cash and in exact change. This, in turn, led us to find a gas station which would have an ATM where we would feel remotely safe withdrawing $180 for the impound fee. After returning to the impound yard, paying the attendant, and back into the vehicle, April and I bid her dad and step-mom farewell and a huge "thank you" (her dad graciously paid half the impound tab), we were on our way home. I went to bed that night, my wife laying next to me, both of us thinking, "another Valentine's Day busted."

This history of Valentine's Days got me thinking about the true meaning behind Valentine's Day juxtaposed to what it's come to mean in today's society. Valentine's Day, contrary to the American Ideal, is not about candy, bling, and sex all under the guise of love and appreciation; but rather about the celebration of companionship and the companion themselves--especially during the hard times. In 2007, April had a number ailments which overlapped, preventing any kind of Valentine's day festivities, but it gave me the opportunity as a boyfriend to support her when the illness became emotionally and mentally draining; in 2008, April's Grandmother died three days before Valentine's Day which again afforded me the opportunity as a fiance to offer her much-needed support and love; and this year, we both have learned how to support each other as husband and wife, band together in a time of need, and to always watch for "tow-away" Zones.

So when Valentine's 2010 arrives, the breakfast in bed may still be on the agenda, but my focus will be on the person which makes Valentine's day worthwhile instead of the events which characterize the holiday.

Thanks For That Lesson Mom

Recently my mom sent me an email of encouragement in my continuing pursuit of my Master's. I am currently working on my thesis, and it is proving a daunting task. Knowing this, Mom sent me an email of encouragement, telling me, "you can do anything that you can put your mind to." This was a particularly poignant email as I got some rough feed back and reality check from my major professor today prior to reading it. This news, combined with mom's email made me think of a lesson she inadvertently taught me during my youth while we were out on a hike. I wanted to share it with her and thank her in my email response.

"...It was nice of you to send this message of encouragement and wisdom, as it was timely. I had my meeting with my major professor today and he and I went over my methods and literature review section of my thesis. He began to tell me that I did not have enough breadth within my lit review and to expand. With my case studies as the meat of the thesis, how much could this be? I wasn't prepared for him to offer some examples of past theses, the shortest of which was 100 pages! If I follow the exhaustiveness for the subject matter which is sought by my major professor, it looks like my thesis will be 20-30 pages longer than my wife's doctoral dissertation; and I have three months to write it. Apparently he doesn't realize that I work full-time. Anyway, after coming to this realization of how much work I have ahead of me, I couldn't help but equate this thesis experience with our hike up Mt. Miguel (where we continuously hit crest after discouraging crest); just when I think I can move on to another phase in the project, I'm back to the drawing board and the mountain is suddenly larger than anticipated with each passing step.

"It's amazing how often climbing that mountain comes up as an allegory for life's issues. On our way down that day, I remember equating it to our family's recovery efforts, and the metaphor lives on to teach the lesson that diligence combined with hard work, prayer, and a little bit of insanity can often times get us to the top of the mountains which we face each day.

"Thank you for letting me accompany you that day to climb that mountain--it's proving to be one of the most important life lessons you've taught me."

Life can be hard. Thankfully, when I begin to feel discouraged, I look to the hills.